I hate the cliche, “I wear many hats,” because I don’t wear any hats.
But I do wear many shoes, and when my shoes talk about me, they probably say that I have multiple personality disorder, aka dissociative identity disorder.
My hiking shoes spend lots of time hiking in the mountains. They have the best career of all my shoes. They probably think, “She’s always out doing something fun!”
My combat boots, on the other hand, only come out about once a month. They think I’m an alcoholic because I only wear them to walk around downtown, meet up with friends, and drink too much.
My running shoes think I’m a sick and twisted masochist.
My work shoes, aka old lady shoes, think I’m a boring old working lady. My right old lady shoe has an insert to protect my bunion. These shoes know me the best – I am pretty boring.
My slippers, on the other foot, think that I just sleep all the time and that I have hypothyroidism since I’m always cold.
My sandals are multi-faceted. In the summer, they get worn both to work and to the beach, so they think I’m multi-dimensional.
The rest of my shoes think I’m a simple stereotype with no depth, whatsoever.
Hey, as long as there’s enough room in the toe box!
I’m Shellie Sh’bieue, and that’s my rant.