Today I’m going to talk about a word that I’ve heard a little too often lately: AwKwArD. I first heard the word used to describe somebody back in 2010 when I was talking to a British friend, but the word has quickly become very commonplace in the states. In old Norse it’s “afugr,” or turned the wrong way. In the states, it’s just way too overused.
Synonyms of awkward include gawky, clumsy, unwieldy, graceless, clunky, ugly, inept, uneasy, embarrassing, and unsure.
Before the word awkward became a commonplace expression, the expression used to describe the same sort of person would be: “social anxiety.” Social anxiety was a much better descriptor. It was an excellent excuse for hiding in the closet at parties: “I am a social butterfly, but because of my social anxiety, I’m going to hide in the corner. I am outgoing on the inside, but because of my social anxiety I cannot talk to other humans.” Social anxiety was a cute and treatable medical condition that would hide who you were inside, but scraped away, you would bloom as a beautiful butterfly.
Awkward, on the other hand, is much worse. It’s very static, stagnant, and unbreakable. Social anxiety is a condition you can grow out of, but awkward is not. Once you get described as that “awkward” person, it sticks.
The word does have a few advantages, though. For one, “awkward” is actually a girl scout badge! To earn it you have to hide in a closet at a party, shake hands when someone comes in for a hug, and then start talking at the same time as someone else. Maybe trip over your own feet a couple of times. Then, shake the girl scout leader’s hand very awkwardly when they award you the badge. The image on the badge is of a scared little kitten wearing braces.
Another advantage of the word awkward: it makes for great t-shirts. You can buy t-shirts on Amazon that read: “I came, I saw, I made it awkward,” and “Sorry, I’m awkward, sorry,” and “majestically awkward.” These t-shirts might need a medical disclaimer: “Your awkward friend may cause a serious, life threatening reaction. Stop talking to your awkward friend right away if you experience swelling of your face, mouth, throat or neck or if you have any trouble breathing, or have hives or blisters.”
And finally, much of the comedy on TV is “awkward comedy.” To end today’s rant, it’s not fun to be awkward, to talk to awkward people, or even to see awkward situations in person. But it’s sure fun to watch awkward happen on TV!