This is supposed to be a humorous blog, but I’m not feeling very funny right now. And when life gets annoying and when people say platitudes, I want to kick them in the teeth. No, it might NOT all work out. And DON’T pray for me, or I’ll prey ON you…
So, I went stealthing around Dollar Tree like a bear in predator magazine, hunting my kill. I was full of aggressive energy, and I tackled a bag of candy.
I ended up with fingers, skulls, and bones. It’s two months before Halloween, so luckily my carnivore side was satisfied without any animals (or humans) being harmed.
I was feeling a little bit emo! I went through all sorts of emotions during this trip to Dollar Tree:
I felt disgust… Booger candy?!
I laughed.
I cried.
I thought about American Pie.
And ultimately I found redemption, because who doesn’t like candy corn?!
No, really, who doesn’t? Because I will punch you if you don’t like candy corn! The Donut Shoppe candy corn made a delicious breakfast, and I found another treat to go with it:
The Gevalia Kaffe cold brew is sweet enough for a man, but low enough calorie for an active woman’s biology!
And just in case my microbiome needs help, ACTIVIA!
Ah! I feel emotionally overwrought. I need a nap.