I started out November at a disadvantage, ok?! I needed to pay for car insurance, an oil change and a haircut. $550 was already gone by the second day of the month. I still could have easily made it through November under budget, though.
Little did I know…
In essence, my “urge to spend” switch kicked back on this week. It started when, after I’d decided to cancel SiriusXM, I got talked into paying for it again – just a trial for another 5 months, just $25. No big deal, and I can cancel it later if I want.
Then, tennis shoes. I found them online, a steal for $47.99 (with the help of a coupon code.) It was a bargain, so it was justified.
But then I completely lost it. Thursday I was perusing Groupon, when I saw a package – 15 bottles of wine for $69. (+ $29.99 shipping.) Basically, $99 for 15 bottles of wine – $6.60 a piece. I got starry-eyed: “That’s presents for 15 friends at Christmas! Or, I could have a wine tasting party! Or, I will have housewarming gifts for every one of my Christmas parties!” I ordered the box of wines, and then instantly regretted it like a bad one-night-stand. But I couldn’t stop it from happening: I didn’t want to cancel the order.
My boyfriend’s birthday is in November, and for his birthday I planned an overnight adventure. I rented an Airbnb room in a city two hours away. I got a mysterious cash-back offer through Amex and got $50 back instantly so the $101 room was only $51! We got there yesterday afternoon, and walked around a “First Friday” artwalk — free wine, cheese, beer, chips, cupcakes, crackers, etc… Between the two of us, we only spent about $27 there: 2 beers at a brewery, a silly souvenir, and $6 in gas station snacks. An amazingly-fun getaway for only about $78, total?!
Not so fast.
On the way home, we stopped at the Tanger Outlets. I have a weakness for expensive clothing. I am allergic to certain fabrics, and very sensitive to others – expensive clothes always feel so much better. I’d never been to the Saks Off 5th store (the Saks Fifth Avenue outlet). Saks is one of my favorite stores so I had to check it out. The bargains were amazing: $200 items for $49.99; $99 items for $34.99.. I was hyperventilating.
Armload of clothes tried on and 2 hours later, and a visit to the Tanger Outlet customer service store to procure a $20 discount coupon, and I came out of there with 3 items (a $406 value) for $170.77 after tax. A $185 pair of designer jeans for $70, a nice pair of lounge pants so I can slum in style for about $60, and a business shirt.
As I retreated from Saks, bag in hand, I was overcome with guilt. I was like, “I could return all of this right now. I could turn around, return this, and maybe complete the month of November under budget.” But I didn’t want to. You can’t leave a one-night-stand in the middle of it, no matter how bad it is. I kept on walking.
With my boyfriend humming “I am the champion” in the background, I did a quick tally for the month: $932. Wow! I have $68 left to spend to stay under budget for the month, and it’s only November 7th.
I guilted my boyfriend into buying his birthday Italian lunch. While he ate spaghetti and meatballs, I babbled incessantly about my descent. “I’ve been incredibly thrifty these past few months. And now, we’re entering a new season and I want new clothes! Is that so bad?! Can’t a lady have a cheat month?” My mom’s response to a similar text from me: “Can you look over a shoulder and borrow answers?” Sometimes her logical connections are strange, but whatever.
On the way home, we stopped at Aldis and each spent $26 for a ton of food. It felt sort of ridiculous to rein in my spending and shop at Aldis after such a bender — I belonged in Whole Foods or Fresh Market. Or worse, that new trendy grocery store downtown. As I later did my walk of shame, carrying my bag of fancy clothes into the house, I decided that a lady can’t be perfect. Cheat months are integral to a budget, just like cheat days are integral to a healthy diet. Even though I’m usually kind and even-tempered (shut up), even sweet little Sh’bieue has her moments of crazy. Perfection is not attainable, but if I can rein in my spending for most months of the year (with a crazy bender now and again), then I should be able to save money over time.
Another note: it’s instinctual for me to be extremely competitive, and to get on schticks. For instance, in the past it was training for a marathon, or creating homemade jewelry. Obsessing about keeping my budget ridiculously low is satisfying some strange competitive desire that I have, which makes me forget about other things I don’t wish to think about. Having stupidly unattainable goals and then achieving them gives me something to obsess on, and if I fail then I’ll need a new obsession. [And I really don’t feel like running a marathon right now!]