The last couple of years have been rough — the rantings and election of a mentally unsound dictator has unquestionably broken my heart. But in these past few years I’ve learned strength, and how to act normal in rough situations. I can rise above, and not let it affect me. Don’t get me wrong, when Drumpf got elected, I felt like I was in mourning for this country. I felt fresh pain every single morning upon waking. But I eventually rose above the pain, and learned how to push it down so it wasn’t so acute. I can do that with this new pain as well. When bad things happen, it hurts for a few days, but then I can quickly adapt and deal with it.
To get Drumpf out of my head, I stopped paying attention to the news – it’s too depressing, but also, the sensationalistic nature had me constantly in a high-cortisol state of panic. Instead of constantly paying attention to the news, I started listening to Up First, a 12-minute morning news podcast, and just getting a daily summary.
Last week/weekend, I got a 1-2-3 punch of bad news, the most visible and newsworthy being the killing of 11 worshippers at a Jewish congregation in Pittsburgh. I donated to the victims, and I tried to be sympathetic. But I had no spoons left to add these new events to my emotional baggage. We Americans are currently very traumatized by the news/president/ways of the world. And yet, we go to work every day and buy groceries and new shirts, and make dinners and go see movies and live normal lives. Damn, we have gotten strong!
For a time I had started sleeping through the night again and began seeing longer stretches of time between drinking. But I’ve returned to the behavior characteristic of the time immediately following the 2016 elections. Alcoholism and depression has stalked me for a very long time but I’ve managed them and not let them consume my life. I was no great friend of Bush Sr or Jr and I’ve been disappointed with political morning-afters before. But this one was different. I knew there was a nasty darkness in our country that eventually needed to be dealt with. I just never dreamed it was this large and included people I work with, work for and interact with. Statistically a third of everyone I encounter actively supports and encourages this “administration.” So I’m back to thinking of it when I wake, it’s the last thing on my mind when I retire and it is mostly what’s on my mind during the day. I really could use some good news on Nov 6.
Thank you for your reply to my post!