A few weeks ago, we found ourselves binge-watching all the YouTube episodes of Bless this Rank. Matt Mitchell, the man who created Bless this Rank, is much funnier than me. He inspired me to rank several varieties of mass-produced whole wheat bread, which is the main staple food my diet. All whole wheat bread brands are definitely not created equal. They all taste a bit like cardboard, but some brands have a more nuanced flavor than others. I am rating them on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being disgusting and 5 being great. Here we go!
#5 Nature’s Own 100% Whole Wheat Bread with Honey. This bread is dry and flavorless. It’s ok toasted and slathered with butter, but it still tastes like stale cardboard. It has a dominant front-end taste, and no back-end taste. It seems like it’s missing a key ingredient. It’s not very substantial, thick, or filling. If you find yourself with this bread in your house, use it to make stuffing. This bread is pricey, costing around $3.39 at Food Lion.
#4 Sara Lee 100% Whole Wheat Bread. This bread is decent, but the slices are kind of runty. It has a good taste and texture, but if you eat two slices you’ll find yourself eating two more because it’s not very filling. It’s also an exceptionally small loaf, with only 18 slices, compared to the standard 22 slices in the competitors. It costs around $2.69 or $2.99 per loaf.
#3 L’Oven Fresh 100% Whole Wheat Bread from Aldi. This bread is ok, but it’s not phenomenal. Similarly to Sara Lee, the slices seem small. I eat this bread occasionally, but it’s not my favorite. One disclaimer: I’ve had Aldi bread in other cities and it’s tasted better. I don’t think this product is uniformly made by the same bakery across the U.S. It’s ranked slightly higher than Sara Lee because it costs less: I bought this loaf for $1.29 at Aldi’s.
#2 Nature’s Own 100% Whole Wheat Bread. This bread is the gold star standard of whole wheat breads! It’s fluffy, soft, flavorful, and it has a rich back-end flavor. The slices are healthy, substantial, and filling. It tastes great either plain or toasted. It’s the Cadillac of whole wheat bread. It’s also priced like a Cadillac, costing $3.69 a loaf at the local Food Lion.
#1 100% Whole Wheat Bread from LIDL. This bread has a balanced front-end taste and a great aftertaste. It tastes good dry, and it’s light and crunchy when toasted. It’s a strong competitor to Nature’s Own 100% Whole Wheat Bread, but it wins because it costs around $0.99 a loaf at LIDL.
Honorable Mention: Food Lion 100% Whole Wheat Bread. The store brand version of whole wheat bread is available at many grocery stores, but it’s not cheap. At $2.89 for 18 slices, this bread is very similar in quality and loaf size to Sara Lee 100% whole wheat bread. I wasn’t even going to buy this, but Food Lion was all out of Nature’s Own Bread. This bread is ok, but it’s not going to be my first pick as long as there are other options.
Now, go eat some toast!