The Zombie Hurripocalypse is upon us. Are you all prepared? Here’s a list of everything you’ll need to be safe when the disaster strikes:
- Industrial-Strength Fans – to blow all the zombies toward the hurricane so they get destroyed.
- A multi-tool – to dig out the dead and bloated zombie that is stuck under your car so you can drive (or push your car) toward dry land.
- Zombie-proof graves in a flood zone — there’s nothing more satisfying than watching zombies die and drown at the same time! It’s like killing fire ants, but even more fun!
- Supplies – sunscreen, sunscreen, and more sunscreen. Oh sorry, that’s my inner redhead kicking in. You probably won’t survive long enough to get skin cancer.
- You may want to consider robbing a locksmith and taking all their tools in case you need to break into a house or a car.
- A book and a flashlight – you’ll need something to do when you’re chillin’ on your dollar store raft, waiting for the next zombie to kill!!
- A lifestraw bottle that automatically filters water. Who wants to carry around a 24-pack of bottled water when the world is flooded and covered in zombies?
- Why buy bread and milk when the zombies are coming? Are you planning on having French toast cooked by flashlight because the power is out? Why don’t you get some crazy survivalist food instead, like this 3,600 calorie survival bar with its “unique non-thirst provoking formula!”
- Carry a weird amulet, and tell a long, involved story about how you got it. Survivors always have a weird amulet.
- Drink Zombie rum, or just buy all the supplies to make Zombie cocktails. I think the Amazon truck can get you everything you need before the hurripocalypse hits.
- Kill all the zombies.
Now you are all set for the zombie hurripocalypse. Enjoy!! Kill all the zombies responsibly. See you all on the flip side!